June 9, 2013

Only the strong-willed have patience
Others are too quick
Too quick to speak
Too quick to react
To fear

The rich in spirit are often
Poor in gifts
So they stretch out their faces
Towards the sun
If only to receive
The fruits of the universe

Never be too open
Instead be transparent
So that the ones you know will respect you
& passers-by will adore you
For there is always something
Magical
Impalpable
Cryptic
Enthralling
About what isn’t known

The secret is
To walk with your head high
But not too high
So that you can still see your reflection
But high enough to taste heaven

By: Alexa C

Keep Breathing

This is one of the most iconic episodes of television of my life. I remember the first time I watched this so vividly, and I felt there was something so poignant and raw about the song and it came up today on my shuffle. Just thought to share…

Defiance

Okay, it’s been such a long time I wrote on here! Don’t really know how to explain my absence other than saying I was just busy.

Here’s a quick-ish wrap-up as to what’s been going on with me, this is in no particular order!

Allllrighttty then, I’ve been doing my iGCSE exams which have been going well I guess. I AM ALMOST DONE! It doesn’t feel real. I still remember my first day of year 7 thinking I would never make it, and now here I am almost done with everything. Totally weird.

I made a new blog. I didn’t like it, and I still don’t like it.

I’ve been single-handedly planning my prom/leaver’s ball whatever the heck you want to call it, and it’s been challenging! I seriously respect event organizers now. Especially in Nigeria, I really don’t know how they do it.

I have been feeling really unpoetic. I haven’t been able to write anything I feel proud of, and I feel like that’s because of a culmination of issues that I really don’t want to delve into right now.

I think I’ve been changing a lot too. In terms of my style, my likes and dislikes, who I want to be and who I am. It’s really scary that all these changes are going on at the same gotdamn time, but there isn’t much I can do about it but to grin and bear it as they say.

Summer begins in less than 3 weeks.

I am sorely happy, sad and lonely. All at the same time, and I feel like I’m being defiant and not accepting the change because I fear it.

But change is good. Right?

Memoirs

I’ve been feeling so inspired and melancholy at the same time lately. I guess it’s a good thing because I’ve been able to write some things a lot of which are still incomplete, but like I said I’m inspired to post them anyways.

This is a poem I wrote a few minutes ago, it’s called March 11. 

I’ve been bitterly angry at you for months now

I’m not sorry I’m not sorry

And I don’t think I need to be sorry

Because it’s how I feel and you told me to never feel apologetic

Yet my heart is growing thorns of contempt

I don’t need an apology

I just want to be heard

And when you speak I feel…

Heavy

Like this languorous Monday afternoon

Your words are like poison It’s surprising how it doesn’t eat through you

Because it devours me

My sense of self

My sanity

Do you not see what has become of me?

If what you have to say isn’t more beautiful than silence don’t say it at all

I know I’m guilty of going against this, but I try

And as much I want to I cannot block my ears from you

But my thoughts each night seem too

So be careful

Be fearful of that little girl you impregnate with curiosity because when you leave she will still be there

Thinking of

Every

Single

Word

You ever said.

The Power of Words!

A little ramble inspired by tweets by @Christiana1987

March

Wowie! It’s March already, and I wish I could say I couldn’t be happier but I could be. It’s the third month of the year already and everything is moving so fast, but nothing is really happening. I feel a bit like I’m stuck in a rut. 

March marks the first quarter. A month of productivity and reflection, at least that’s how I see it. I made a lot of vlogs in the month of February and I had initially thought that speaking would be much easier than writing, but some things were too personal or too private and I’m not ready to share those things. It’s amazing really because when I start making the videos I never really have an idea of what I’m going to talk about. Same thing with this post, I never knew what I wanted to write until I started writing. When I write or make reflections I learn about myself. I am able to express things that I never knew about myself and it reveals a lot.

February Revelations:

1. Hope is the reason why I wake up every morning despite willing myself the previous night to isolate myself from everything and everyone.

2. I need to be more prayerful.

3. I need to be more active.

4. What is, shouldn’t always be.

5. I have trust issues and not the pseudo Drake melodramatic anthem.

Sharing is Caring

Happy Sunday guys. I always spend Sundays with my family and friends, this Sunday my cousins came to spend the day with me which gave me a little break from revision. Most times I order take out, but today I felt like whipping up some crepes for them!

The thing I love about cooking is that it’s something you can share with people, and I think all talents are meant to be shared. There is no gift greater than people enjoying your gift, and there is no way to realize your gift unless you’re willing to try and do different things.

My challenge for you this week is to try something different.

For the recipe of the crepes comment on this post with your email address.

Love and light,

Alexa

Keep Ya Head Up

First Youtube upload on my new account. Make sure to subscribe!

Baggage

I’m doing my iGCSE exams later on in the year, and I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself for them by getting rid of dead weight and clutter in my life. I’ve re-arranged my room in such a way to promote productivity and positivity. I created a “happy wall” that has a lot of important information, exam schedule and whatnot. I’ll probably post a picture of it once I’m done. I’ve been getting rid of friends that hold me down..

In Nigeria, there is this disgusting mentality whereby people enjoy derive pleasure in seeing other people struggle or fail. It is truly disgusting, and I’ve been experiencing a lot of it since I’ve been in my current school and especially lately so I just have to speak up about it!

This mentality is the sole reason why Nigerians cannot progress. I may or may not be exaggerating. Ever heard the saying you are only as strong as your weakest player? That quote was not said by mistake. Now, I generally couldn’t care less what people think or say about me. However the scariest thing is that I experience this from those closest to me.

In a previous post I had said get rid of all those that weigh you down and make you feel less than yourself, and I understand why many people do not get rid of these people. It is because they fear being alone which is very understandable. To that, I say embrace solitude. You learn the most about yourself and your environment this way. I’ll admit it is not easy, but you have to put yourself and your wellbeing first. Not sometimes,  not most times but all the time. Never settle for anything less. If someone recommends a movie to you to watch, and you’re not enjoying it.. stop watching it. If you go out and don’t see what you like, go home. Do what makes YOU happy.

I’m going to try and record some vlogs later on this month and I might start posting my writing and poetry here soon too. In the mean time you can read my work, and the works of some other incredibly talented people on: http://sauti-zetu.com/

Finally, I’ll conclude with this…..

Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well. – Maya Angelou

Love and Light,

Alexa

Celebrating Women

Often times as young women we judge one another. We get jealous of one another. We put down one another, and it’s actually really sad. We are all guilty of this whether we would like to admit it or not.

This week we celebrated the birthday of our First Lady, Mrs Michelle Obama. She is such an inspiring and phenomenal woman. In a world where females, especially black females are not respected as much as that of men, her accomplishments are ones to dance and celebrate for. There is more to her than being Mrs Obama: she’s a graduate of Princeton and Harvard Law, a mother, an advocate for healthy eating and healthy lifestyle with her Get Me Bodied workouts for public schools in the United States, the list goes on and on and on.

Why I’m saying this is, as an African girl there are not very many African women one could look up too. Or so I thought, but there are many unsung heroes that we do not celebrate.
If you see someone, male or female, or you hear about someone doing something good encourage them, praise them, we can only improve our world if we support one another.

Michelle Obama had a dream. She could not afford to go to either universities, but she worked hard throughout high school and gained a scholarship and a loan. She only finished repaying her debts last year. So dream, but dream with purpose, dream with the belief and the conviction that your dream will come true.

For more information about Michelle Obama, purchase Mrs O: the face of fashion democracy. This book, although centered around her fashion and style has a lot of information and is available at amazon.